Clarkson, Hammond and May (in a very strange blazer) enters the tent and straight away explains what they’re doing. But this time, something’s different. Clarkson explains the episode just how he used to during the Golden Age of Top Gear. It brings back some great memories.
The trio explain how European automakers are making trucks now to compete with the Japanese. This week, The Grand Tour goes on a journey through history to review three pickups.
— The Grand Tour (@thegrandtour) January 31, 2019
Back In Time
James, who has chosen the Mercedes X-Class, turns the car into a power station by using the rear axle of the car to turn a generator. Richard Hammond chooses the Ford Ranger, and is using it to pull a plough. Clarkson uses his VW Amarok as an irrigation system. He’s attached his rear wheels to a pump, which is in turn attached to a hose. He’s going to use this hose to water the farm. But, after it proves to be too powerful for the ape, it pushes him over.
The now out of control hose blows the electricity generator and ruins the farm, as well as flinging a few old people through the air with its high pressure water. It stops when they turn off the car. After the action, Clarkson reveals that he was cut several times during the incident…. Dangerous work be this.
Apparently that was a success, so they now have to test the cars in a society where peace has come to an end. Fast forward to a revolution.
Kim Yong Clarkson
— The Grand Tour (@thegrandtour) February 1, 2019
When a dictator is toppled, every memory of that person has to be destroyed. So in this test, May attempts to topple a statue of Jeremy Clarkson. Or more specifically, his head.
He ties his truck to the statue while Clarkson and Hammond complain that the X-Class is only a Nissan underneath with a weak engine.
Eventually, he does manage to pull the statue down, and Clarkson’s stone head is destroyed. But it turns out this isn’t the only one. There are statues of May and Hammond, too. So, Hammond is up next in the Ranger.
His truck is more powerful, with the same engine actually being used in a train. Despite this, the truck takes a long time to pull it over, but Hammond celebrates his victory by pulling the statue over the ground.
Clarkson is last, with a statue of Hammond to pull down. But this statue is life-size (very very small), so Clarkson pull it down with ease.
Chaos Comes Next
— The Grand Tour (@thegrandtour) February 1, 2019
With the government in disarray, the trio must flee with all of their possessions. The trucks have objects piled on top of them, and they’re lined up for a drag race (fleeing race).
As the cars set off, almost everything falls of the back of them, but they continue down the track.
Jeremy wins with Hammond coming second and May third. They argue over who has actually won these last three tasks.
They begin talks about the new electric cars and how their names in other languages mean something different. For example, the Audi E-Tron in France means ‘turd’. They then discuss the rumour that Jaguar may be going all-electric.
They say, the biggest problem is the electricity infrastructure. Despite it constantly improving, there just aren’t enough chargers out there yet. It looks very quickly like Hammond and May are very for new electric cars, and Jeremy isn’t.
The Chiron Sport is also on the agenda, as is insurance. Morgan is next, regarding the fact it will have to start importing ash wood from outside the UK. Because of this, they’re starting to make bicycles… and hair care products. This obviously moves onto Richard Hammond’s dyed hair.
Clarkson Reviews The Jaguar XE Project 8
Clarkson loves the Jaguar XE, but this isn’t a standard XE. the Project 8 is faster. Much faster. It holds the record for the fastest saloon on the Nurburgring, and the only pieces it has in common with a standard XE is the roof and the front doors. It’s a carbon fibre clad monster.
He says it’s better than the Alfa Romeo Quadrifoglio, so it’s safe to say he loves it.
On the Eboladrome, it gets a time of 1:19.3, faster than a Porsche GT3RS, but slower than the Audi R8 V10 Plus.
Back To The Trucks
The trio fall back into the military intervention of a country with their three trucks. It’s their job to get fuel to a helicopter to do their part in the ‘war’. They race to a military base with the fuel in the rear of each truck.
Jeremy slowly falls out of love with his truck as it’s outperformed by both Hammond and May’s vehicles. But each truck is put through its paces and makes it to the finish. Jeremy comes first, Hammond second. But before May arrives, a fallen barrel explodes and takes the helicopter with it. Because the war couldn’t be stopped by this helicopter, a civil war starts…
Each truck is equipped with guns, and while it’s driven through a town, a gunman will shoot at different targets.
May goes first, armed with an AK47 in the back of his truck.He missed everything, so Hammond goes next. He also misses everything due to gun trouble. He returns and James tells him Clarkson is off getting ready. He soon turns up with a 50 cal machine gun attached to the back of his truck. He manages to hit everything but the targets.
Back in the tent, they conclude that Clarkson’s VW won the tests, but overall, the Ford is the one to buy. May argues that he wouldn’t choose a best of the three because he simply wouldn’t ever own a pickup truck. They realise that because they’ve been arguing with James for so long after this, they haven’t got time for a celebrity segment. Oh dear.
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