As usual, the trio walk into the tent accompanied by ruptures applause. We begin with a segment by James May about two iconic supercars from the ’80s. Cue the dramatic music and videography.

Ferrari VS Lamborghini VS May

The Ferrari Testarossa is “excess on wheels” and James is quick to put it through its paces on the Eboladrome. This specific car belongs to Evo‘s ex-owner Harry Metcalfe. He’s not the only celebrity to have driven this car, either. May spews out celebrity names which have had some connection to the car, including O J Simpson and Rod Stewart.

The car has the speed and celebrity owners, but Hammond is on track to tell him that the ultimate supercar was in fact the Lamborghini Countach. It has useless wings, scissor doors, and one hell of a V12.

The two presenters enter into a race on the track before pulling over to continue arguing. Hammond however overshoots where James is parked so needs to lean out of the car to reverse back. There’s only one way to settle an argument about cars: a drag race, but these cars are fragile and… expensive. So it’s a rolling start drag race today!

Hammond wins in his Lamborghini before we return to the tent. And since neither of the presenters can decide which is best, it’s time for Abbie Eaton to attack the Eboladrome in them both.

She sets a time of 1:31.8 in the Lamborghini and a 1:37.4 in the Ferrari. Both are wet laps, and confirm that they are both faster than the VW Up!.

Conversation Street

They begin by looking at ‘stackable cars’. They’re EVs and according to Hammond, work like the Human Centipede. They conclude that these cars just don’t work, so move onto  something less complicated.

Jeremy wants to talk about a Polish Formula 1 driver who had a horrible crash 8 years ago. His name is Robert Józef Kubica and this week he’s returning to F1.

Next, Clarkson wants to find something that stops things from falling down the side of your seat when you’re driving. This is a massive issue that the trio feels very passionate about. Clarkson says that if the audience look under their seats when they back into their cars, they’ll find enough change to pay for Brexit.

Finally,Clarkson also wants to talk about a 32mph duck which was clocked by a speed camera. Apparently this is interesting information for May and Clarkson, but Hammond couldn’t care less.

Hot Hatch Group Test

In a test to find out what really is the greatest modern hot hatch, the trio bring three of the best in the market, to play with. Clarkson brings the Polo  GTI, Hammond a Ford Fiesta ST, and James May his Toyota Yaris GRMN. They stand arguing for a while, but soon they start their tests, beginning with a pursuit race… on a rallycross track.

Jeremy quickly reaches May’s GRMN so he’s out the race. Before long though, Clarkson’s Polo’s brakes overheat so it’s declared a draw.

The next challenge is, of course, a drag race. But before that, May talks to the camera about his car’s engine. Once we wake up, the drag race is afoot. The Polo wins easily, with the GRMN coming second, and the ST last.

A discussion on gearboxes is interrupted by Mr Wilman, who tells them to relate more to the millennial, so a few modifications are made to the cars.

Clarkson covers his car in political stickers, while Hammond misspells a wrappers name on the side of his. James has fitted a juicer to his car to make juices, which are very popular with millennials these days.

Hammond and Clarkson head to Oxford to show off their cars, but May is still pushing his juices which are getting more and more revolting, before eventually being splattered around the inside of the car. With that, back to the tent.

Paparazzi Challenge

They head to London to try and get some paparazzi attention. The car that gets the most attention, wins. Richard takes his wife out to dinner, but Clarkson has the great idea of getting a celebrity to help mend a puncture. Binky from a popular British Reality TV show helps him do this, while James goes to dinner with a historian.

Jeremy is getting a lot of attention with his puncture, but Hammond and May are doing very badly with their endeavours.

Finally, a pap did turn up for Hammond and started taking photos from his car, but Clarkson and May had n idea. They pounced on the car and covered it with material which said “pap in a bag” on the side. Hammond’s annoyed at this, so gives up.

Before the results are tallied, another challenge awaits the presenters, this time regarding Instagram.

They needs to take a photo of their cars, and the photo that gets the most likes on Instagram, wins.

#Instafamous

Hammond recruits a top photographer to get a great photo. They attempt to recreate a wildlife shot, while May gets his car attached to the top of a London bus. Clarkson, well he just takes a photo of his car on the side of a road.

Next, they need to do the same on YouTube. Hammond makes a stunt video where a stuntman walks a tightrope between the Fiesta and a camera car. James makes an unboxing video of his GRMN, and Jeremy creates a series of videos about a traffic officer. You can see all of these videos below.

James’

Clarkson’s

Hammond’s

Well we can’t actually find it….

The Results

James May wins due to over 330,000 people watching his unboxing video, ultimately meaning that the GRMN is the best hatchback. Who knew!

See Full Season 3 Guide