It suddenly dawned on me when I was reading an article about the Aston Martin Superleggera that there are some pretty awful car names out there. The Superleggera would be one of them if you didn’t know about the relationship between the Italian name and the British marque. But what about the Ferrari Pista? Who let that through PR? Even if it has meaning, it sometimes shouldn’t be done.
So here are my top 10 worst car names of all time, starting with of course, the Ferrari Pista.
10. Ferrari Pista
This is the latest of the mid-engined special edition Ferraris. We’ve had the 458 Speciale, the F430 Challenge, and the Scuderia – three names that light fear in the hearts of car enthusiasts and known for their violent performance. Now there’s the… Pista… It means track. But sounds awful.
9. Ford Escort
While the Ford Escort was a good car back in the day with the Cosworth now being a thing of legend, it’s name didn’t exactly reflect high performance. Instead, it resonates with ladies and gentlemen working a night shift. Not sure that’s quite what Ford wanted to achieve with that.
8. GROWLER E-CONCEPT
The ‘E-Concept’ part of this name, while not overly informative apart from the car obviously being a concept, isn’t the worst part. The bit that could be better is the ‘Growler’ bit… Apparently, this isn’t such an issue in some countries where the term ‘growler’ isn’t really used, but in England, it might not be a car you want to show off about down the local pub.
7. ISUZU MYSTERIOUS UTILITY WIZARD
This sounds less like a car and more like a vacuum. Now, I get the Utility Wizard part, but why is it mysterious? The only thing mysterious about this vehicle is how that named managed to get through the marketing team!
6. MAZDA BONGO FRIENDEE
I’ve always thought of Mazda as quite a boring company when it comes to car names. But this has definitely changed my mind. There’s one thing that really annoys me when it comes to car names, and that’s the misspelling of words. Because of that, this van has to go on the list! Especially as it’s named after a percussive instrument as well!
5. NISSAN HOMY SUPER LONG
If you’re reading through this quickly then I’d excuse you for reading this Nissan as being horny. In that regard, the second part of the name really does make sense. But without that context, I have no idea what the name signifies apart from maybe a longer wheelbase? Yh, let’s go with that.
4. Ford Probe
The last thing I want to buy from a dealership is a Probe. Not because the car’s awful but because the salesman could get confused and start putting on a rubber glove and dunking a finger in KY jelly. You’re welcome.
3. MITSUBISHI LETTUCE
Our of all the possible names, they chose the word ‘lettuce’. No connection to motoring, just a random word chosen from a salad.
2. Mazda Laputa
How do you know the guy who came up with this name didn’t speak Spanish? Well, in Spanish, the word ‘Laputa’ means ‘whore’. No one wants to give your Laputa a good service!
Mazda Titan Dump
I needn’t say more.