It’s difficult to be annoyed at such a well respected and well credited marque, but the Rolls-Royce Cullinan has seen rejection from the very first image shared on Rolls’ social media and press releases. We knew it had to happen, look at Lamborghini for example. Even the marques sat at the very top of their game cannot resist the sweet juicy profits of an SUV. They’d be stupid not to. Does that make us stupid for buying them?

The name ‘Cullinan’ references the largest rough-cut blue diamond ever found, and while this should be reflective of the SUV as a whole, it’s more reflective of just the design of the exterior.

It’s crude and boxy. The sweeping lines don’t lead anywhere and the body seems to be out of proportion from the wheels and the windscreen doesn’t drop far enough and… well I can go on about this all day. But before I get carried away, let me run you through the figures and changes over the standard Phantoms and Ghosts.

It’s shorter the Phantom by 421mm, but wider than the Bentley Bentayga by 150mm. So not only will parking be an issue, but it’s physically too wide to fit between the width restrictions on Hammersmith Bridge in London – a factor that I’m sure would disgruntle the target market if they cared to look it up. Which they won’t.

On the other hand it has plenty of get up and go with its 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 engine which it shares with the Phantom, as well as the figures it produces: 563bhp with 627lb ft of torque available at just 1600rpm. But more importantly, it still carries Rolls’ Magic Carpet Ride, enabled by adaptable air suspension, 360 degree cameras, and satellite feeds.

The interior is where it separates itself from the rest of the market. Behind the suicide doors are rivers of the finest leather, metals, and glass. The Gallery from the Phantom hasn’t been carried over, but the level of luxury and refinement has never been so high. Even the tailgate which splits like a Range Rover can come with custom made compartments to match the owner’s usage of the car – from holding champagne to volcanic skiing, as suggested by Rolls-royce themselves.

Could I get over the exterior, then? Quite possibly. Would I ever buy one, though? Not even if I had the money.