While we’re all thankful that Jeremy Clarkson seems to be making a good recovery from his recent bout of pneumonia, it wasn’t quite as easy as the presenter let on over social media.

He wrote today in his Sunday Times column that he had “three nights spent spasming in my bed” before a doctor insisted on admitting him to the hospital for at least a week, reportedly saying, “If you don’t do as I say, you will die.” Clarkson eventually learned that his right lung was laden with mucus, leaving him struggling hard for breath, and struggling even harder for something to do.

Clarkson quipped that the worst part wasn’t the illness, but the crushing boredom he endured while laid up in the hospital: “People who stay in [hospitals] become institutionalised and incapable of speaking about anything other than what nurse brought what drug at what time. Boredom turns them into bores. And when they get out, as I have, and there is nothing to do for two whole months apart from get better, things are even worse, because all I can talk about is my illness.”

Clarkson initially fell ill during a family trip to Mallorca, and was admitted to a local hospital for several days, where was “dying of boredom…literally dying.” Ah, well. At least he’s not dying from the pneumonia.

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