To call this “news” would be a bit of a stretch, but anything involving Jeremy and substances sounds like a pretty funny time, and in this particular case, Jeremy did not let me down.

According to Jeremy’s account, he was caught in a work/travel nightmare where he had to work in the US and Canada, then catch a flight back to the UK where he would have to return immediately to work. To make all that travel somewhat bearable, Jeremy decided to take a sleeping pill.

Of course when I say “take” a sleeping pill, what I actually mean is not ingest it at all and instead lick it a few times (due to some poor experiences with sleeping pills int he past):

“Being mindful of the fact that I would have to go to work after landing in Heathrow, I broke it in half and licked it gently a couple of times…”

Apparently that’s all it takes to knock Jeremy completely loopy. After landing, Jeremy apparently got lost at the airport, then argued with a passport machine that turned out to be an ATM.

“I was driven into London, where I sat at the wrong desk and wrote a long and very boring review of a car I haven’t driven for Top Gear magazine, which sacked me more than a year ago. For lunch, I had an apple, on to which I squirted a hefty dollop of ketchup and then I went outside for a cigarette, forgetting that I’d given up. And that I didn’t have any.”

On top of all that, Jeremy accepted invitations to three different parties that evening, and then proceeded to forget the locatons of all of them. Jeremy then proceeds to drop some stats on sleeping pill usage in the Britain:

“And do you know what’s scary about this? I’d only licked half a pill, whereas one in ten adults in Britain are taking a whole sleeping pill EVERY NIGHT. Which explains why only 75 per cent of the country’s adults are in full-time work, despite the booming economy.”

Must have been quite a sight watching Jeremy argue with an passport machine at the airport.

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